Impossibly Possible
by cupcakekiller12
Summary: When Addison comes back to the Institute to visit her estranged son, Joseph, she tries to heal old scars she may have left. As she attempts to regain her son's trust, Joseph tries to figure out where the hell his mother has been more half of his life and why she's traveling with a couple of mundanes. Slowly figuring things out, the Shadowhunters may figure things but at what cost?
1. Forgiveness Is Earned Not Given

**Hey guys! Welcome to another story, and we must start with a disclaimer. Cassandra Clare is the owner if the TMI and all other series related or a branch of TMI. I only own my .  
So now we got that out of the way-I hope you like it, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the read-cupcakekiller12 **

"Where's the baby?" The young woman wondered as she covered her eyes.

The one year old in front of, incapable of realizing his mother had just gone behind her delicate hands. For a moment he thought his mother was gone and was on the brink of crying when she finally opened her pale hands and smile, "There he is!"

Those simple words got the baby to laugh with a toothless smile and high pitched babyish giggle. The mother repeated those words and actions several times before her husband walked in, "Oh Addy,"

She chuckled before picking up her son, "Hey David,"

He walked up to her and looked at the baby who looked up at him, "He has your eyes," Addison informed, "I suppose that's a good thing."

"He has your curiosity." David replied, "I caught him trying to stick his head between the posts on the porch."

She chuckled as she pushed him up on her chest, "You can't blame me for that-we're both Shadowhunters; curiosity has always gotten the best of us."

The young man smiled as he took the child into his arms.

The shadow hunter had short, raven black hair, and beautiful, caring caramel eyes. He was about a head taller then his wife. So he had to bend his head down when he went down to give her a small tender kiss.

Addy smiled, "Why don't you put him to bed? I have to go check on Jace anyway."

David nodded as he slowly walked upstairs to the baby's room.

The room was a light blue shade and white molding. It had cartoon style planes stickers on the walls and the ceiling was black with glow in the dark stars and planets. The wooden crib was below the window that let in the artificial light from the street lamps outside.

Toys were laid out on the floor in a haphazard manner, most were in the middle like a mine field. The father had to avoid them as if they were going to explode, because the baby had just fallen asleep in his arms and he was running on three hours of sleep that he had gotten from a nap this afternoon while his wife, Addison looked after the infant. Even though he knew that the thirteen month old baby would most likely sleep till the morning light showers his crib-but there are some nights on rare occasion that he wakes up at 2 am in the morning.

While David laid his son down to sleep his wife had left their home and went to go visit an…let's just say-not a friend…but an acquaintance of sorts. The man she was going to visit Michael Wayland-but she knew that wasn't his real name. She only became friends with him to look after Stephen's son, Jace or Johnathan in this case. Stephen was killed before Jace was born and his mother Celine. Addison tried to save them-but there was nothing she could do, as a dying wish she agreed to look over Jace. But she could only get so close.

The door was already open; Michael had already knew that Addison was coming over. Quietly she closed the entrance behind her and walked into the long hallway before her, "Michael," she called out in a loud whisper, "Michael-where are you?"

"Addison," he replied in a bored tone, "stop acting like a fool and get over here."

Valentine was never a nice person-Michael used to be, but now he's a wolf in sheep's clothing.

"Ok," Addy replied, "what do you need help with?"

"He won't stop crying." Michael stated, his voice laced with misplaced anger and annoyance.

Addison knew what Valentine did to people who annoyed him, and sometimes she would see what he did to his fostered children. His action's infuriated her more then they frightened her. No monster like the one before him should ever be able to have children. Devils like him should be killed without a second thought-not supported and put on a pedestal like his followers do.

The mother looked inside the room which was clearly no designed for a month old baby. There were weapons out in the open, knifes and steles, there were sharp corners, holes, dangerous toxins that not even she would dare to even have. In the middle was a wooden table with a crying baby on the middle of it. Addison gritted her teeth as she walked in, _he doesn't think of just picking up the kid? He doesn't think of-I don't know-acting like a normal parent and checking if he's hungry or has a dirty diaper?_ Michael didn't see her disapproving glare, but he didn't notice her clenched fists and angered walk-but being stuck up he didn't bother adding a comment.

"When did you feed him last?" She asked, her tone hide the hatred and disgust that she was feeling at the moment.

"Four hours ago," the blonde man informed, "he can't possibly be hungry now."

"A month old baby's stomach is small, Michael." Addison pointed out, "it'll take a little while for it to hold more food."

_Stupid man, _Addison thought to herself, _think of someone besides you for once._

"When will he sleep for once?" The idiot, in Addison's opinion, wondered.

"Soon,"

"How soon is soon?"

_Oh-by the Angel-how much of an idiot is Valentine?_ Addy wondered as she held the boy, "He needs to be changed, fed and burped."

The look on Michael's face clearly stated that he didn't care enough to do any of those things. He wanted to do his things and only his things. The baby was sidetrack problem that he cared enough to have but not enough to love or actually take care of like a reasonable human being.

Taking a deep breath in, she reached into her bag and pulled out a single white disposable diaper. She placed him back down and undid the old one Valentine had put on. Surprisingly he had put it on correctly, did he actually know how to put on a diaper? Did he actually have a sense of humanity in that cold heart or did he just do because he just had time to do it?

_Wipe, clean, baby powder to make sure he doesn't get a rash, and then put the diaper. _Those were the only thoughts going through her head. Ignoring the stench of the excrement, she did what she normally did to her son. Wipe, clean, baby powder, and then diaper him. When Addison was finished she got the bottle of food that she had previously made and then started feeding Jonathan. Hungry, the baby quickly chugged the white formula. As Jace finished his bottle, the mother placed him in front of her shoulder and began lightly patting his back, allowing the gas forming in his stomach to escape.

"What are you doing?" Michael asked uncaringly.

_What an ignorant bastard, _Addison commented in her mind, _I feel bade for Jonathan-he's going to have a difficult life._ When Addy was done she gingerly put the baby back down on the table. Her pale soft hands caressed the baby's face, _don't worry Jace-I'll look after you._

Turning around she returned to her indifferent stare, "Put him to bed in an hour or so,"

If Michael had been a normal father she would have added, maybe sing a lullaby to him, rock him slowly and hum a tune. If he doesn't go to sleep then just sit down and rock him some more, eventually he'll close his eyes and drift into his dreams. But the mother knew that he wouldn't do that, that man was cold and soulless.

From there she left and went back home to her family, but the guilty feeling in her gut never escaped her. She knew that Jace would go through life with a father who didn't love him. He wanted him for power, nothing more.

But Addison has sworn to be there-and whenever Valentine wasn't looking she'll be at Jace's side. She'll be his mother, she'll wipe away his tears and signs of grief. She'll embrace him and tell him he's still loved even if he doesn't think so. Because a promise is a promise-even if they are ment to be broken.

**Present Day**

New York had grown-well…no it hadn't really changed really. The city wasn't different-it was the people that had changed. They were more curious and oblivious then they had been in previous; but now they care more then they used to. Or at least that is what they say.

The streets were cleaner; the buildings were now skyscrapers; but the traffic is horrible-but the public transportation system is good. You can get anywhere now with a train ticket, a bus pass, or a taxi. Time Square has definitely improved too, more screens and visitors; and the giant glittery ball which is used for the New Year; Addison been once or twice. It was quite entertaining.

But she isn't here this time to celebrate the New Year; she's here to celebrate a birthday. Her son's birthday to be precise; his eighteenth birthday, Addy tried to visit him for his sixteenth and tenth birthday but since Valentine and his goons were after her; she could only send gifts and apology letters. She could bet her son wouldn't forgive her for not being there. She braced herself for his disapproving glare filled with hatred and loneliness.

In her mind she listed answers for his questions, most of them were vague and lead to more questions, but some were solid and could stand alone. Jace wouldn't buy it; but he'll understand. Addison visited him the most, she'd come every year on his birthday and give him something. She'd buy him a cupcake and go into the green house and count the stars with him. But there were a few years that she couldn't visit for her own reasons; but the blonde Shadowhunter-no matter how arrogant he is, will respect that Addison had her reasons to not be there.

As Addison arrived at the Institute, she stood there for a few minutes debating. Should she go in? Will her son welcome her? Would Jace welcome her? Maybe she was too distant and her son forgot about her, maybe to him she's just a person he knows that says she's related to him. But maybe they'll over that, maybe they'll understand-maybe…just maybe, her son can learn to love his mother again.

Opening the gates she arrived into the beauty of the dark entrance of the Institute. The Institute reminded her of a cross between a medieval castle and a cathedral. It was huge and amazing, stunning and beautiful; any Shadow Hunter could recognize it. But it's a shame that the mundanes can't see it. This place would give New York a whole new meaning.

She unlocked the door and took a step inside, this place hadn't aged a day. Neither had she either-but it's nice to know some things are still the same. The stone was the same as it was the last time she visited, more lighting perhaps-but other than that…this was the same place she left her eleven year old son to live out the rest of his childhood. Addison wouldn't say it was the best choice-but she knew the Lightwoods; they were and still are good friends. She knew they'd take care of him; even though she knew he needed a mother more then a friend.

T_hey must be eating dinner, _Addison thought to herself, _or ordering it._

The mother knew how horrible Isabelle was at cooking. Always tried so hard but failed even harder. Most of the food she makes is inedible and turns stomachs at the sight of it; which is why I pity Jace, Max, Alex, and Hodge. But it's also laughable, anyone can cook if they put their mind to it-Isabelle just can't…cook.

_Or out hunting like they always are, _she considered.

"Who's there?" A voice wondered.

She chuckled as she took off her black hood, "It's just me Hodge,"

A small gasp escaped him. Addison had been gone for over four years, of course she sent her gifts and apology cards for not being able to come. She only came to New York for Jace's sake really-but she never entered the Institute without caution or hiding in the Greenhouse. No one besides Jake really knew if she was coming- not even her son.

"Addison," he said as he flew stone staircase, "you're back."

The oak haired moon nodded with a smile, "Yeah…Joseph's eighteenth birthday is in a week or so-I figured that I'd come in person rather then send a note and a gift."

The middle aged man smiled as he embraced her, "It's been years…how have you been?"

Addy shrugged, "Good…would have rather been here-but life's been kinder."

"That's good…" he repeated back.

There was an awkward moment of silence between them. They haven't really talked to Hodge-as stated, the last time she actually entered the Institute and talked to everyone was over four years ago-and even then she didn't talk to everyone. Joseph was left out of the loop at the request of Addison.

"…well if you don't mind-I'm going to try and get some sleep." Addison said, "Knock on my door when the kids get back."

"Of course," he replied as he stepped out of the way.

Addison was exhausted; the only thing she bothered taking off was her coat and shoes. She has traveled a three day journey by car, train, bus, and taxis. There were no five-dimensional doors near her and she doesn't like to fly very much. So instead of taking a day's flight to New York-she took the long way around. In that time she had gotten about 5 or 6 hours of sleep because of the stress of being out in the open. She hates being out numbered and most of all being unaware of where her enemies are. That's why she always looks over her shoulder and looking over others as well.

Collapsing tiredly on the plush comfortable bed, she fell asleep. The mother dreamed about the night she left her son here. The night she kissed his forehead and looked him in those sad, crying brown eyes and said goodbye, that was the night she gave it away. Her last sacrifice, she never wanted to leave Joseph…she loved him more then anything. He was the last thing she had in this world…but if given the chance to do it all over again she'd do it in a heartbeat. If Joseph had gone with her…he would have died and Addison promised herself that she would never let that happen to anyone she loves and cares for again.

The morning came faster then expected. The rays of sunshine had showered in through the thick red curtains and invaded the space, forcing the long oak haired, fair skinned woman to open her rested eyes and get up.  
Sitting up she stretched her stiff limbs and then put her feet to the cool wooden floors. It had been awhile since she had been able to sleep that peacefully. With demons and hitmen out on her trail, it's been a hell of a journey trying to keep out of their reach. But along the way she met friends who eventually turned into more then just friends…what eight years away-a Shadowhunter has the right to some pleasures right?

From there she changed cloths, which actually weren't all that different from each other. Black or white long sleeved shirt, long black pants, and black tennis shoes. There were some reds in the bunch and very dark blues-but black is the uniform for Shadowhunters.

Most of her colored clothing had been left at her other home where her friends were. She had gotten used to plaids and other styles while she was with her friends. So going back to mainly black and white was weird to her now. Seeing herself in those colors was just…strange-yet she couldn't really understand why.

In the mirror she stood in front of her, she could see the black tattoos lingering above neckline and at her wrists. Addison had more permanent tattoos then the average hunter; but some of them were fading slowly, and becoming only a silver outline of their former glory of black and bold. There were thin scars hidden though, battle wounds from many years ago that refuse to leave her skin. But she didn't mind-like the saying goes, scars are like tattoos but with better stories-and boy are those stories interesting.

Taking one last glance at the mirror a feint blue emitted from underneath her white shirt. For a moment she seemed lost in a memory, subconsciously her hand went to touch it but retracted once the memory ended. A tear threatened to fall but she took a deep breath calming her; _you've cried enough tears; besides he in a better place anyway. _Relaxing she headed out of her room,

Her room was close to the library. It was the one place anyone could find her before she left. She loved books, all of them, non-fiction, fiction, sci-fi, mystery, love, even the ones she was forced to read as a child. The one about ruins and the Codex, even the boring ones about history, too bad her son didn't share the same enthusiasm about reading as she did.

Before she left, he showed interests in drawing and singing, but also loved to wield Seraph blades and learn how to use his stele. He also hates demons and Downworlders, but not enough to viciously murder them. He respects their cultures but that doesn't mean he acts like their equal to him. That is what drives Addison insane, they're still human. She's…well she's complicated but that's none the less Shadow Hunters are human and they can die just as easily as one without their ruins.

But she loves him with and without the attitude; no matter how much he deserves a scorning.

Speaking of which, where is Joseph? It isn't the weekend is it? Demons don't take weeks ends…do they? Oh who cares anyway-right now there's a family reunion taking place that no one besides Hodge knows about, today is going to be fun isn't it?  
"So what are you going to get for Joe's birthday?" Addison heard from the library.

"A weapon," a voice replied, "what else could he need?"

That sounds like Jace.

"We've got an arsenal of weapons." Isabelle pointed out, "What _more_ does he need Jace?"

"I don't know Izzy," he replied, "What else can we get him that's possible?"

Addison pushed open the door and stood in the entrance, "Drawing material, he loves to draw."

All three of the Shadowhunters stared at the long haired woman standing before them. They didn't move a muscle; all they could do was stand and stare. Alec hadn't seen Addison in at least two years, and he hadn't talked to in over three. The last time he had talked to her was his birthday three years ago; she had gotten him some rare thing with a name no one could pronounce right. Isabelle last saw her on Joseph's seventeenth birthday; she met her in a dark alley in the middle of the night while hunting a vampire who had been killing out mundies like wildfire. Addison gave her a box wrapped in brown wrapping paper and string, with a white envelope that had Joseph's name on it. Jace on the other had saw Addy on his birthday of this year, they met in the greenhouse and watched the flowers bloom at midnight.

The Shadowhunters in all their braveness and glory couldn't find the courage to speak. Even Addison was hesitant to talk; she had chosen favorites in this group and visited them separately and at different times. So this awkwardness was her fault and now it was her turn to break the ice, "…hi Jace…Alec-Isabelle," she took a small step forward, "how's it going?"

They all looked at each other, gritted their teeth, pursed their lips; so Addy continued, "Long time no see kids…did you miss me?"

Jace responded in way that no one had really seen him act before. If it was just Hodge or someone else he'd just brush them off arrogantly. He'd say hello and resume his conversation with whom ever he was talking to. But this person, Addison, just one look, a few words and those walls he put him to protect himself came crumbling down. The golden blonde boy took a few hurried steps before embracing her. If anyone had just come in and didn't know their relationship they would have guessed they were loved or family members.

But it was quite the contrary, since Jace just calls her Aunt Addison or Addy. Since she has been there for him since he was a baby, in fact his first memory is of her making up for his father's lack of empathy. But he didn't know that she had a son up until he entered the Institute. Joseph had been with the Lightwoods for a year already, his mother apparently dropped him off and never looked back-but that couldn't be further from the truth. Addison looked back; she couldn't help but look back and memorize what her little boy looked like. It took everything in her to leave that day; she left against all of the bones in her body screaming at her to stay.

But even if she did apologize-if she said that she regretted her choice, her son wouldn't believe her. Addison knew he wouldn't forgive her-but that's alright…she'll just have to wait for him. She'll just have to take his words and wait for the moment to explain things.

Jace stepped away and went right back into his shell, "Hello Addy," his golden eyes brimmed with joy, they expressed his hidden happiness and relief to see his 'Aunt' alive and well. This was sort of out of character considering he's been self relying since his father died,

"Hey Jace," she smiled back as her left hand went out to touch his shoulder and her right pushed a lock off hair out of his eyes, "nice to see you in once piece."

He softly pushed her hand away, "I'm not a kid, I can handle myself."

Addison shrugged as she chuckled, "You may not be eleven anymore, but trust me you still have a lot more to learn and it's not just going to be fighting styles and weapons."

The woman turned her attention to the other people the room who were still trying to grasp her presence in the room. Addison, the woman who left her child with the Lightwoods for protection in her mind; but everyone else just though she wanted to get rid of him. The truth, Addy wasn't ready to tell.

Alec wasn't worried about her to be honest; she loves Jace-just in a motherly kind of way. She had been there since he was born, she was there to wipe away his tears, she was there to hold him…always and forever. Those were the words she always said to him-even when Jace acted like he hated her.

"Alec," Addison said as she saw how much he changed over the course of two years, his hair was shorter-he must have cut it recently. There were more ruins on his arms and even more fading away, "You've grown," she was hesitant to lay a hand on him, Alec didn't exactly think of her as family; and frankly three years of radio silence was harsh, "Izzy," she moved on, "nice know that vampire was taken care of." The brother and sister didn't respond, all they gave her were straight faces and emotionless stares. It broke her heart actually to see that they didn't want to see her, "Where are Max and your parents?"

"Out on business," Izzy replied finally.

"And Joseph," the brunette wondered.

"Cooking breakfast," she stated simply.

"Ah," the Shadowhunter realized, she must had forgotten her son's love for cooking. He must've gotten that from his father. David always loved to experiment with food and make amazing or horrible recipes. Addison was a horrible cooks, the only thing she could make was cereal and even that she failed at. That's why she just bought reheatable things, she didn't want to risk eating getting food poisoning because she able to cook meat. "I'll go surprise him then, it was nice to see you guys again-and remember-art supplies is always a safe option."

The smell of breakfast didn't stay in kitchen where most expect it to sit, but it wafted down the hallways alerting everyone just how hungry they were. Bacon and eggs were the main scent wondering around but smells like homemade pancakes and freshly made coffee managed to sneak around too. There was also another aroma floating in the air, blueberries-Joseph's favorite. He must be making jam for later.

Addison stood in the doorway watching her son cook as he did when he was a child. This time he didn't sweat or look worried about what he was doing. He obviously has done this a million times before; he didn't bother looking the instructions or how much he was putting in. Sure baking was an exact science but to him it was just fun to see how much he could alter the recipe before it turned to a gross slop like Isabelle.

Her son didn't immediately recognize it her. He just gave her a casual glance over his shoulder, "I told you guys it would be ready in a minute-just wait a sec."

She chuckled, "Last time I heard you say that you were nine and making a store bought cake."

The young man froze at those words. His once steady hands shook with what could be mistaken as fear. The dark caramel eyes once again looked behind him hoping that voice he heard has been a mistake, a trick of the ear. There was no way his mother could be here. She left him here alone, she said goodbye and never came back. All he's ever gotten from her ever since that day was an apology card and a gift for his birthday. This must be just a trick or a prank the others are playing on him.

His mother took a single step in, knowing her boundaries, she didn't want to push him farther then she already had.

The moment of tension increased when he turned around to see that the person he heard was his mother. It surprised him that she hadn't changed at all, her hair was longer maybe, it was the same shade, an oaky brown that paired well with her fair skin and her youthful greenish grey eyes hadn't changed either. His mother was lean and lanky, he knew she was strong and could kill any demon given the chance-but at the right moments she looked so motherly and caring. Her touch would be so delicate and adoring as though you were going to break into a million pieces.

"M-mom," Joseph said.

She nodded, "Joseph," her expression tried to remain neutral but it kept flickering from 'I'm waiting' to hoping for forgiveness. Each time she tried to look away in guilt her grayish eyes kept coming back to him and seeing everything she missed. She missed his soft dark locks of hair, his soft smile, his childish laughter. Addison missed seeing him in her foyer drawing with pencils and crayons. She had longed to be hugged by his lanky arms; she missed his sad brown eyes when they cried. It had been so long since she had seen that happened. Back then he was so human…such a child, he knew of his relation to Shadowhunters and knew that one day he'd fight demons and rebellious Downworlders. But he hadn't cared back then, he was just a kid going to primary school, just a boy who had normal friends. Those were the days she ached for, those were the days she wished were now-but sadly she can never go back.

Now Joseph was tall, taller then her-just like his father. He had semi-muscular figure, shaggy dark brown hair, hardened caramel eyes like David's had been before. He took a a few steps forward and tried to reasonable explain the phenomena. Could he be sleepwalking? Could it be a demon or a shifter? Did Jace or one of the others put something in his drink last night and didn't wear off yet?

"I'm real you know." She said as she placed a hand on his shoulder, "I'm here,"

A hitched breath came from Joseph as he looked down at his mother's hand; he wanted to forgive her. He really did. But it isn't going to be that easy; she won't get away with leaving him years on end. Even though it broke his heart to do so, he brushed on his mother's hand and turned back to what ever he was doing.

Those actions wrecked Addison's heart as well; she had prepared herself for this moment. She prepared herself for the heartache, the rejection; she had prepared herself to feel like failure of a mother and every else-but no matter how much she had prepared herself for this. No pain could compare to the one she felt when she just brushed her off and looked away. No pain, emotional or physical in the past could even come close to way she felt when Joseph didn't even care that she was there.

So she turned around and stopped in the doorway, "When you want to talk, I'll be around." He didn't reply so she didn't continue, she left but looked back in the process. She couldn't see him holding back the tears. Addison couldn't see him fight back the longing for here. All she saw was a mad teenager who didn't want to make nice with his mother. When she finally did leave, he gasped for air. Tears rolled down his cheek, _she came back…she came back-she remembered me. _But the truth is she never left, her body may have left him but her heart stayed. She always wanted to come back; but she couldn't find the courage in herself till now to do so.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

"So Jocelyn," Addison wondered as she sat down on of the couches, "how is Clarissa?"

The red haired woman looked out the window worriedly as she wiped her hands down and grabbed two cups of tea and set them down on the table, "Shh, she's sleeping still."

The brunette chuckled as she took a sip of the sweet tea, her friend was always worried about her daughter. It was amusing to watch her be frantic about the young girl, she was only what- sixteen-seventeen? There is no way she can find that much trouble at that age. Well…actually no-she's Shadowhunter, there are plenty of ways to get in trouble and then some. Addison just didn't because her mother was more then insistent that she stayed inside.

"What are you so worried about?" Addy wondered, "You've looked out that window at least seven times since I got here. What, is a parade going on and I don't know about it?" Unfortunately she already knew the answer, Addy knew that answer all too well. Jocelyn had been a wife to a man who was a monster. That man who is Clarissa Fray's father. Valentine Morgenstern, a monster who has killed most of her friends and her departed husband. The thought of that man being around her is more then enough to get her blood boiling.

"Valentine, someone said they saw him in New York." Jocelyn informed.

"Damn it," cursed Addison, "what are you going to do?"

The woman sighed as she looked around, "We're going to Luke's house in the country for the rest of summer break." Ah, the countryside house, Addison had been allowed to stay there for a year or so before moving on to another place when she had first dropped off her son at the Institute. It's a rather comfortable place; nice place to be when the you need to clear your mind.

"What about the spell? Isn't it fading?" The brown eyed woman pointed out. Addy knew the warlock who had cast that spell on Clary. She knew him very well-in fact it was her who recommended him. The Shadowhunter wasn't a stranger to magic-in fact she a little more closer to it then she really wants to be. But she if she knew anything, Magnus Bane was the best in New York-or anywhere really.

"Magnus is away currently," she replied not giving away any direct information, "why,"

Addy shrugged as she took another sip of tea, "I just thought I pop in and say hello." The truth is that there are some things she needed to say, Magnus was a friend-nothing more-but a friend at that he deserves to know what's been going on.

"I see…" The artist informed, "So how is Joseph?"

"He hasn't seen me in awhile," Addy informed, "and still isn't adjusted to having me around."

"You have been gone eight years," the painted pointed out, "I don't think he's going to forgive you instantly."

"I know-I know," Addison sighed as she looked away for a moment, "I just wish he knew how much I wanted to be here, how much I wished I could have been here. Life got in the way-"

"He is your life."

"But he's not the only part of it now," She stated, "I've got other people to take care of now. And it doesn't help that I've been running from your husband's goons at every turn."

"He isn't my husband anymore!" Jocelyn snapped.

_Try telling him that, _thought the woman across from her, Valentine had taken everything from her. He lied to everyone. He betrayed his kind, betrayed humanity, everything. He's a monster and even more so then the ones the Shadowhunters kill. He deserves to be killed slowly, painfully, excoriating; and just when he thinks he's about to die-they'll save him and then repeat the next day they'll repeat it and continue it until he begs for mercy.

Morbid; but true

"…I'm sorry-I shouldn't have gone there." The Shadowhunter amended, "It wasn't your fault, it was mine…I should've stayed. I should've helped."

The ex-Shadowhunter gaze softened as she changed spots and sat next to the widow.

Addison remembered the night David was killed with little difficulty.  
It was on eerily peaceful night; none of crickets were singing- it's as if they knew something bad was going to happen. The sky was clear, you could clearly see the stars and the moon; but it was dark. Too dark, even the street lamps outside their house couldn't penetrate the shadows. But the shadows weren't the thing that bothered Addison and her husband; it was that the shadows only surrounded their home. Each of the other homes on the block was cascaded with a yellow artificial light.

Joseph had already gone to bed a few hours ago; leaving his parents alone in the family room. They were casually talking as they drank a small cup of whine; they didn't expect anything to happen. It was just suppose to be another dark night, but David knew that something was off.

"_What wrong?" _Addison wondered as she took another sip from her wine.

David taped his fingers on the black leather of the couch as his dark caramel eyes looked out the window, _"Nothing…don't worry about," _the couple continued, but the worried look is David's eyes didn't cease but only continued to grow more concerned. Every few seconds he would look around, as if trying to see if anything had moved or been misplaced within the time he glanced away and looked back. He took deep breaths in, as if to calm himself before panicking.

His wife tried to talk it out of him but David refused to say anything to her. He kept insisting it was nothing and not to worry about it-which only caused Addison to worry even more. Her husband never got worried about anything. Even hunting demons, stalking vampires, he never got scared or nervous. But this-what ever was bothering him, must be something not even he can handle.

As his wife went to go clean the glasses, there was a noise in the back yard. It wasn't subtle enough to be a small animal but it wasn't loud enough to catch the attention of Addy. She continued cleaning the glasses, unaware of the intruder in her backyard. David grabbed his Seraph blade and cautiously walked toward the glass sliding door. But just as he did a figure slammed through the clear glass and tackled to him to the ground.

The Seraph blade fell from the Shadowhunter's hand and only a few inches away from him. He tried to feel the blade but no matter how far his hand went, the only think he felt was the broken glass scraping his skin. But it was only a few moments before David's training at the academy kicked in. Forcefully he pushed the man off of him, making him land beside him.

Quickly he reached for his blade once more before being thrown off balance once more by the intruder. He was thrown onto the coffee table, his head hit the hard wood temporarily handicapping his judgment. After that everything just went downhill, David was getting beaten to a pulp, Addison already had someone in the kitchen she was dealing with. But with her…let's just say abilities, taking care of the man who broke into her apartment wasn't a problem.

He was gone in more ways then one.

But it didn't matter, David was being beaten. When she entered the family room her bloodied and battered laid on the coffee table. He looked up for second to see her, the young man was breathing heavily but it was full of pain. Addison took a step forward before seeing the intruder, clad in black and face covered. The intruder took the Seraph and he even looked at her. As if he wanted to make sure she watching, as if he needed her to see what he was doing.

Before the wife could do anything, the blade entered her husband's chest and left as quick as it came. In that moment she could feel her heart shatter, her soul darken, and the control over what she had lessened. Without reserve, she threw him through the door she entered him. Her surgeon like hands didn't tremble with fear or fury, all she had was pure rage.

She wanted to skin him alive. She wanted to slit his throat and watch him bleed to death. She wanted to beat him until he couldn't breathe anymore! All Addison wanted was to see this man tortured, she wanted to see him **burn**. Inside of here there was no pity or remorse for what she was about to do. Even in the future she will fail to say she regretted her actions tonight. Because when she thinks of slitting his through during the day, it makes her smile.

"_Mea culpa, me maxima culpa,_" Addison murmured to Jocelyn who was gently stroking her hair as if she were her own daughter, "I remember my mother talking to me about that."

"My own fault; my most grievous fault," Jocelyn said calmly, she didn't object because she had already had this argument with her before. When she first got here, she was in tears about her husbands death and no matter how many time she was told it wasn't her fault she continued to believe it was. Which it was…but there was nothing to prevent it.

"I've met someone though," she informed, her voice lighter this time, filled with happiness and a hint of joy, "he's been the only man who hasn't reminded me of him."

"Really," Jocelyn said interested now, "what's his name, Addy?"

"You wouldn't know him," her friend replied in a girlish giggle, "his name is Dean, Dean Winchester."

**So here marks the end of the chapter, I hope you enjoyed it because there will be more. Anyway, if you would like to, follow and favorite-it would make me smile if you did. There will be more Dean, Sam, and most likely a little Cas. So, anyway-till the next time, stay awesome my friends-cupcakekiller12**


	2. Speak Your Mind

**Hello again! Welcome to another chapter, hope you like it. As always, I don't own anything related to the TMI series and I don't own anything related to the Supernatural series. So sit back relax and enjoy the read-cupcakekiller12**

The Impala sat at the front of the Institute, only one man was in it. A concerned man, a worried man, a man who had been sitting there boredly waiting for someone to show up; every few moments or so he'd look through the window as if something new was going to magically show up. Then he would look through his music collect; but wouldn't choose anything. It's as if he was just trying to distract himself from something.

_God damn it, where is she? _He wondered as he gritted his teeth, _she said she'd been here hours ago._ The green eyed man kept looking out the window, gripping the steering wheel, and changing the music as if trying to make time go by faster. But to him it only made it go by even slower and the worried feeling in his gut just got larger until it drove him to the point of picking up his phone, his finger pushed on the black buttons before pushing the green button, the dialing tone rang in his ear for a few moments, _come on…pick up…pick up Addison!_

"…hello," Addison said.

"Addy," he said as he took a sigh of relief.

"I'm fine Dean." She assured, "I just had to visit a few people."  
Hearing her voice instantly relaxed him, her gentle tone allowed him to sit back in his leather seat and put his mind to ease. Dean's green eyes no longer held the worried gaze, it filled with joy and thankfulness that she wasn't hurt or in trouble, "Where are you?" He wondered as he looked once again out the car window curiously.

Without a reply the other car door opened and a woman hopped in. She wore a simple color patter, black and white-like all Shadowhunters. Except it didn't seem natural for her to ear those colors and Dean obviously confused why she was wearing those colors again, "Why the hell are you wearing that again?"

Addison looked at him and rolled her eyes as she buckled in, "Shut up,"

The truth is she wore it because this is what she wore before she had met Dean and Sam. Back then she had been just as ignorant about mundanes as all the other Shadowhunters were. She just thought they were weak and helpless, she thought that they were just trouble makers-which they are-but it's not their fault. Curiosity always gets better of all of them. Even she has to admit her curiosity has gotten her into some serious situations. But then she met them, the Hunter's as they called themselves, at first she only thought of them as a flight risk…but then they became so much more. They saved her, she saved them, and then one thing led to another and they just became like family.

Well actually they literally related now…it's a long story.

"Where are Sam and Mar-" Dean's lips caught Addison's in a surprise kiss. It was soft and sweet, gentle and caring. As she always did, Addison kissed back deepening the kiss. Dean's hands tangled themselves in Addison's long luscious brown hair. They lost track of time while together at that moment; but both of them pulled away before it went any farther then it already had. Both of them had to regain their composer before turning on the Impala.

But even as they left, both of them agreed in their minds, they were each other's pain killer in more ways than one.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
**The happy couple walked side by side and held hands as cliché as it is. They laughed and giggled, even though it was mainly against their normal serious natured sides to do so. But their smiles weren't faked; they were as genuine as they emotions towards each other were. Each flirtation and romantic gesture was true and authentic. When they finally made it to their motel room again they kissed.

Magical was a word to describe the feeling. It was like floating on cloud nine and dancing amongst the stars at night. The feeling was equivalent to the adrenaline rush of jumping off a cliff. The world suddenly was a million miles away and all of their problems were gone with it. Addison forgot about her issues with Joseph, Dean was with her now and she wasn't going to waste it like she had before. Dean on the other forgot about his promise to his father, he forgot about his need to protect Sam and his responsibilities as a hunter. And for one moment, a single moment they forgot that they lived in a messed up world.

That was until Sam opened the door, "Geez, is Mary not enough for you two."  
They stepped away from each other; but the smiles on their face didn't fade away. Dean went in first, "You're just jealous," he said as he went in the room.

Sam sighed and looked at Addison, "How do you put up with him?"

She chuckled as she stood up on her tippy toes and placed a kiss on his cheek, "He's not always 'the big brother'." Sam stepped aside and allowed her in first. She slowly made her way into the short hallway of the nicely made hotel room. It had been awhile since she had been in one of these, sure she traveled with Winchesters-but all of the hotels-mostly motels were rundown, barely cleaned, and you could bet a salary that someone had been murdered in each room or at least the basement.

Here it was pleasant, the room didn't stink of smoke or unclean sheets; and bed sheets weren't covered in dust…hoping that it is dust; the floors had no remnants of the previous tenants of the room. There was a T.V on top of the plastic looking wood that also contained a coffee maker and a stainless steel mini fridge. There were two queen sized beds, each had a neutral color, black and white, "Daddy," a childish voice said.

The voice came from a four year old girl, she had shoulder length dark blonde hair; her eyes were green just like her parent's. They sparkled with blue highlights when the light hits them right. It's quite a beautiful sight and mesmerizing too. She was going to be tall too, just like her Uncle Sam. But also kind and caring, like the mother's each of them had…even if they can't remember what it was like having one.

"Hey kiddo," Dean smiled as he picked up the girl, "have you drove Uncle Sammy mad yet?"

Sam chuckled as he folded his arms and leaned against the pale white wall, "No-unlike you, she's actually agreeable." Addison chuckled at the brothers bickering. She had gotten used to it a few months in while traveling with them. At first she just thought it was childish and annoying; but then it became amusing and sometimes she enjoyed jumping in and teasing them.

"I wouldn't say that," Addison chuckled thinking back to a few moments.

"You're a biased point of view." Sam pointed out.

"Is that what they taught you at Stratford?" His friend wondered, "Or are you just that good at deducing Sherlock?"

Sam rolled his eyes as he sat down at the small wooden desk in the far corner, "At least I can say I went to college."

"But you didn't finish," Addison said, "I did, I've been to college and finished it-several times."

Not wanting to admit defeat Sam just sat there and didn't reply; but Addison could see that he had no rebuttal for this argument. But she also knew why he stopped college and why he continued to help his brother hunt demons. He could have stopped it-if he was the man he was today…but it wasn't his fault, Addison would've ignored the signs too. She would have wanted her life to stay as normal as it was…but it wasn't ever normal to begin with.

"She isn't in Hell if it makes you feel any better." Addy informed and they believe her. Sam did, Addison was his rock. He could always count on her to be there or for her to pick up the phone. She would listen with open ears and arms; it didn't matter where she was who or she was with, Addison never turned anyone she cared about away.

Wait-and before you ask, yes-yes she did say Hell.

"I see the spell I used is working." The mother informed referring to the eyes of her daughter.

Sam nodded, "Yeah, no one was able to see the mark." The daughter didn't say anything; she didn't really care to be honest. It was all just something to keep her mother happy-but it's not that her mother didn't like her normal cat like eyes, it was that eyes like that are viewed down upon in the human community…and the supernatural community…and the Shadowhunter community. So her mother thought she'd spare her of the stares she had when she was a kid, "Who taught you that?"

"My brother," she replied, "He doesn't use it much, only when he's around mundanes."

"I thought you promised you wouldn't use that word anymore." Dean said as he covered the ears of his young daughter, "I don't want her saying it."

"Only when referring to you," Addison corrected, "and besides Mary doesn't even know what it means."

Mary Celine Rosner Winchester, Addison had named her after Dean's late mother who had passed away when he was four, her middle name was Jace's mother, Celine, she had known her for most of the mortal's life. Addy met her after the woman joined Valentine's little crusade. She was the kindest person Addison knew. May she had been apart of an evil mastermind's clique-yes, but she paid the price in the end. She died and he son fell into the hand of that monster and there was no way for Addison to save him without being killed herself or worse. Addison already lost a husband due to Valentine; she refused to loose a son too.

"Anyway, I'm going to take a shower, then I have to head back to the Institute." Addison informed, "You know when to call me."

"When will you be back?" Dean wondered as he put his daughter down and went to lightly grab the wrist of his…Fiancé-wife-lover…it's sort of all those things at this time. His green eyes had a protective look to them; he didn't want to let her go. He wanted to protect her even more then he did Sam.

"In the morning," she informed looking out the darkened window, night had just begun to settle, "I'll call you first thing, ok?" Dean nodded as gave her a light kiss on her red lips and let her go and watched her walk out the door; but she looked back and gave all three of them a soft smile and wave goodbye.

…

"I'm back," Addison said as though if it were good news, "not that all of you are happy to see me." She pointed out looking at Isabelle and Alec, those two were on Joseph's side of this battle; which she didn't seem care. As long as they spoke to her, she'd be happy. That's all she wanted…she wanted to talk, "I know that Joseph had put you up to this code of silence thing-but seriously…say something, do something," Addison begged as she went up to Izzy, "hit me, scream at me, throw me, stab me-I'd prefer if you didn't do the last thing, but if it'll get you talking just don't hit any major organs, k?" Again they didn't reply which hurt her slightly; all the things she wanted to say-all the thing she wanted to tell-she'd say it all if all they would do was ask.

But of course they didn't; all they know is one side of the story. If they bothered reading the whole book or flipping the coin, maybe they'd understand, maybe they'd get why she left, why she had to leave. If it had been her choice she would have stayed, she would have without a second thought…but she didn't have that option, "Come on," Addison pleaded as she went over to Alec who had been looking through on the books on the table, "Alec-"

"You're a terrible mother." He said without any remorse whatsoever, his blue eyes left no trace of guilt of the words he had stated or the insult he had thrown at her. Those words struck her heart with full force, shattering it into a million pieces. All of the times she had come back and saved them, all of the times she had watched from a distance-that time she went to Hell for him. That wasn't enough for him or them. It wasn't enough for Joseph to slay her emotions with that icy glare; but he had to tell everyone else what he thought of her.

"I guess I was." Addison admitted as she held her breath trying to hold back the tears pooling in her eyes, "I guess I was a terrible mother." Her voice cracked at that last part. _Terrible mother_, those words reverberated off the inner walls in her skull. _You were a terrible mother_, each time she repeated it to herself it just made her broken glass heart, or what remains of it, shattered without anyone able to pick up the peaces, "But you have no idea how hard it was to stay away," the mother informed, "I guess if it makes you feel any better, I've gone Hell and back for him." Addison wasn't speaking metaphorically when she said that, she had been to hell for him. She gave up her soul and got mutilated by hellhounds just so that Joseph could live again. The memory of it sent chills down her spin, she hadn't talked about Hell since the day she and Dean finally admitted what happened down there. And she promised ever since that moment, she would never talk about it again as so as there is still a breath in her body.

"We all have," Izzy replied, not making Addison feel any better, "not that you were here to know about it any way."

Addison sighed as she muttered under her breath, "I've saved your asses so many times, I've lost count." Nobody heard her, only she knew what she said; only she knew the truth. The mother may had been away, but she never one stopped thinking about her son or the others. Every time she woke up and went to sleep she'd worry about if they had gotten hurt or killed on a hunt. Every time she saw them, she felt joy and happiness. It relived her to know that they were alright-but it's not they ever cared to know or bother, Addison started walking towards the large exit; but stopped and looked back, "Tell me when you start acting like the grown ups you are and not the kids I knew you were."  
As Addison left she thought as if she were back in Hell. No family to turn to, no son to look after, no friends to hold her, and no one to help her. To be honest, Addison preferred Hell to whatever life this is. At least there she knew what was going to happen, the pain she felt she could recover from. It was only physical pain and even that she was partially immune to by now. But the pain in her chest only caused her misery and there was no way of healing it.

As she left the room she tried to control herself; but she had held back these tears ever since she had left. Sure she had cried plenty of times while with Dean and Sam, ones of pure happiness and ones of pure despair. She had been there when each of Winchesters had died and even died with one and came back with one. They had been through everything together, thick and thin, death and life. Together they were more of family then any of their blood relatives.

When Addison got to her room she took a deep cleansing breath…which didn't help her at all. More tears just came out, her _son _thought that about her. He thought she was terrible. He thought that she was failure. She had tried to be there for him…but it was too dangerous. Any man with the want for money was after her at that time. She couldn't drag him into that world; everyone had to think she didn't care. They had to think she was running away otherwise they would come after him. She refused to risk his life for hers.

"Addison," a familiar voice said.

She turned around to see an angel, her favorite angel-even after all of his mistakes. The Shadowhunter still saw the good in him. The man was tall-not as tall as Sam but tall in his own way. He had black hair and kind, yet confused sky blue eyes. He wore a trench coat and a suit; the things his vessel had worn when he had possessed him. But the soul of his vessel has long since passed on to Heaven, "Cas," Addison said relived to see him, without asking she embraced him; but it wasn't him who needed a hug. It was her, she needed someone to hold her; "It's nice to see you again."

Castiel looked slightly confused. There were tears in her eyes-was she crying? "Addison," he said as he cocked his head and squinted his eyes slightly, "are you crying?"

The Shadowhunter shrugged as she sat down on the plush bed, "No…yes-well I was-still am sorta." Addison informed as she wiped off her sad tears, "My day has just been..."

"Difficult," Castiel finished as he walked towards her, "is there anything I can do?"

The grey green eyed woman sighed as she raked her hands through her hair, "No, I'm afraid you can't heal this Cas." She looked at him and a confused gaze appeared in her eyes, "What are you doing here Cas, I don't remember praying to you."

"Do you wish me to leave?" Cas wondered.

"No," Addison responded a bit too quickly as she got up, "please-stay." By her word Castiel knew something was wrong. She never really talked to him about feelings or anything because he never really understood humans. He was constantly learning new things about the modern human race. Like what they take pleasure in and how they speak, in fact she had taught him many things. Addison taught him, like not to have extreme candor. She was no scared to tell him how much things had changed or how wrong or ridiculous he was acting. But never mistaken she cared for him deeply, Castiel was like a brother to her. Sure he could be a little annoying sometimes; and is sometimes too innocent for his own good. But she loves him, and always will.

"What's wrong Addison?" Castiel wondered now concerned.

Addison sighed as she sat on the bed, Castiel followed her and looked at her as he tried to figure out a way to fix the situation she was in, "My son…Joseph-well it wasn't exactly Joseph this time. Alec and Isabelle…they haven't exactly forgiven me for leaving Joseph here for half of his childhood." Their faces are what bothered her, cold and unforgiving, they didn't care if she got hurt. They didn't care if their words broke her heart and threw away all chances of repairing it.

"Have you not told them why you had to?" He wondered, Castiel knew the reason why she had left her son. He knew that it was hard for her. Addison always talked about him, told the same stories over and over again; but sometimes he thought those stories were for here to hear, for her to remember, for her to hope that she did the right thing.

The Shadowhunter shook her head, "No…how can I tell them anything when they think I'm a careless mother who doesn't care about her son," the green eyes woman sighed again, "besides; I'm not really sure they'd listen to me."

They wouldn't, not unless she made them or screamed at them. Alec and Izzy were stubborn and loyal, she couldn't force them to like her or listen to her. All Addison could do was sit back and wait for them.  
"Oh," the angel said, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Addison stated, "it's not your fault I'm in this situation. I dug my own hole and now I have to dig myself out."

"I do not understand," he admitted, "why would you dig a hole to just dig yourself out of it?"

The Shadowhunter chuckled as she lay down and studied the boring ceiling above her, "It's a figure of speech Cas; it means I've created a problem that I now I must solve." The problem was her son's uneasiness to trust her. She had left him and now she had come back for more then just a night. Alec and Isabel were going to be harder to convince, they were the ones that she had to prove herself to. Maybe someday they'll let her back into their hearts, but until then she won't stop trying. But how long will it take for her to win back their trust, will she have to out live them just as she did their parents?

"Oh," the blue eyed angel replied looking down at her, she was pretty-he had to admit that-but the angel felt not sexual attraction to her. He was indifferent to what the humans called 'love'. The only thing he could count on was the Winchesters and her. They had been the only constant in his life since he arrived on Earth; all the other angels had and still hate him. But a few of them understood his choices and respected his choices, "have you tried to talk to Joseph?"

"Once," Addison informed, "but the only reason he spoke a word to me was because he thought I was someone else."

But Addison didn't know it hurt Joseph just as much as it damaged her. He wanted to forgive her; but he couldn't find the courage to do so. Her son was with Jace and the others inside the infirmary looking over a girl, a young girl. The girl's hair was flaming red, a few freckles on her face, and a fresh ruin on her arm put there by Jace. Apparently she had been attacked by a demon, Isabelle and Alec thought she was going to die. She was nothing more then a mundie, a human-no humans survive the mark and a demon bite. But miraculously she was still alive, feverish and looked like death warmed over, but still alive.

Every time he looked at her, he couldn't help but think of the faint memory or seeing his morning mother hold his father in her arms. The salty tears running down her face and her shaky voice singing him to his death, the only thing he remembers clearly of that night was his mother holding him, her son, and whispering to him that everything was going to be ok. But he can never remember his father's face while he died, every time he tried everything went hazy. He can remember the funeral and the City of Bones, he can remember every time his father smiled or laughed. Everything, the tears, the hugs, the 'life talks', walking him to school, learning the ruins, everything-but he can't remember the day he died.

Joseph's mother never talked about it. She always commented on how lucky he was to say he couldn't remember. Because she could, every little detail, all of her mistakes and wrong doings, she could have saved him and she knew it. That was the thing that infuriated her son, _why didn't she save him? She has saved and looked after everyone else…but she couldn't look after her own husband. _The son never told his mother that he blamed her for his fathers death, he blamed her for everything that had happened that night. But he never had the heart to tell her, because he could see it in her eyes that she already blamed herself.

"What are you thinking about it?" Izzy wondered.

Caught off guard he had to replay her question in his mind again in order to find an answer, "Hm-nothing…just stuff."

"It's your mother isn't it?" She pointed out.

Joseph sighed as he looked away. His adoptive sister may be younger then him; but she was always protective over him. Isabelle, just like him and the others, didn't know the truth behind the disappearance of Addison. To them it was a lack of wanting of responsibility when it was the exact opposite. Everything they thought was on a biased opinion, but so was Addison's-she thought she was doing the right thing when she left and she knew the repercussions, but she did it anyway.

"You shouldn't forgive her." Izzy said as though it were a command, "She left you."  
"But she came back!" Joseph pointed out, "and she didn't hide this time."

"But for how long?" Isabelle wondered, "How do you know after your birthday she'll just leave and never come back?" The black headed girl had a point; his mother didn't have a good track record of staying in one place for more then a few years. When Joseph was a child every three years they seemed to be going to a new place that had new problems. Not that Addison wanted to, it was just the life of a Shadowhunter, and you go where the job takes you. Even thought Addison wasn't apart of the Clave; her husband on the other hand was-and she followed him everywhere-which means so did Joseph. So much so Joseph was fluent in French, German, Spanish, and dabbled in Italian. He still kept in contact with those friends in there-but not as much as he wishes it would, "How many birthdays' has she missed? How many more will she miss?"

"I know she's missed a lot." Joseph informed, "But-"

"No buts," Isabelle cut off, "This isn't like mom and dad going to Idris for a month or so-it's leaving to the Angel knows where!" Everywhere, Addison had gone everywhere, all the way across the United States, to Mexico, Canada, Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. She had been to places that still haunt her dreams at night. And she did it all…she did it all to see to it that her son was safe and out of harms way. But all those stories, all those adventures she had, all those monsters she killed…all of them reside in her memory waiting to be told but no one to ask her to tell them.

The boy's mother stood outside listening in to their conversation and as she did her fractured heart broke even further, "Why are you listening to this?" Castiel wondered noticing her fragile state.

"Because he won't talk to me otherwise," she said, her voice cracked.

"It's hurting you." Cas pointed out, "come on-we should go." His strong, yet delicate hands gripped her wrist lightly as he tried to get her to leave. Addison pulled away and stayed at the door that was barely cracked open to hear the conversation inside. The angel sighed as he looked at her concerned, "Addison you did what you could. Joseph just hasn't realized it yet."

"He's a kid." Addy defended, "And besides, he's as stubborn as his grandfather, I wouldn't be surprised if that as soon as I left he regrets not talking to me." That's true Richard was less than agreeable when it came down to trying to talk. It took her two years just to get him to say something nice about her. Then on the day he died…well murdered to be precise-she was the only one there. She was the last person to see him alive and the person to hear his last words.

"_I'm sorry about how…how I treated you." _Richard said as Addison cradled the dying man in her arms. He was bleeding to fast, there was no way to heal him, _"I-I'm just a…just a stubborn old man." _The old man coughed and scarlet blood rolled down his lips and dripped down his already blood soaked cloths, he had gotten pale, deathly pale in less then five minutes. Addy didn't have time to get him back to Idris or the academy; he would have died by the time she got there. All she could do was hold him and wait for him to his brown eyes to close and become lifeless, she had to wait for his slow heart to stop beating, and then she had to wait for his breathing to stop. It seemed to last an eternity, him just lying there coughing up blood, _"D-David," _he coughed once more, _"is a…a lucky man." _

"_You don't need to apologize." _Addison said as she moved his held his head, _"I never blamed you for how you treated me; neither did David."_ He was fading, he could barely hear he speak, but he could see her worried eyes, filled with concern and regret. The old man took a bullet for her; she should have died-not him.

"_I-I do…"_ Richard pointed out as he slowly moved his hand to her delicate face, _"Y-you aren't a mon…ster."_ The words he spoke became slurred and harder to pronounce and hear; but Addison never looked away, he needed her now more then ever. For once in his life he was finally ready to talk, _"You're…a Shadowhunter…you're not…not your father." _The corners of his vision began to blur but he fought it, he fought it with all the willpower he had left in him, _"You may have demon blood in you…b-but…but you'll always be…one of us."_ Then the weariness of death washed over him. The horsemen had seen him suffer enough, he allowed him to say his final thoughts and had knelt down to kill him as he said, _"Tell David-"_ but he never got to say what he wanted to say, Death killed him and he appeared next to him, _"Why?"  
_ _"She already knows."_ The horsemen assured as he glanced towards the reaper who was supposed to guide him to the after life. She gave a nod looked at him. The man was barely halfway through his fifties-which was considered old for his kind. A Shadowhunter barely lives to thirty let alone fifty. Only the ones who don't hunt can see that age…unfortunately he was a hunter and the job catches up with you after awhile.

"He was a good man though." Addison said, "All the way up until the end...hopefully Joseph will gain some of his characteristics." She looked at the blue eyed angel once more and tried to get him to tell the truth, "Tell me Castiel why are you here?"

"Dean sent me," he informed, "he wanted to make sure you got back her alive."

Addison chuckled, "Alive-I'm a Shadowhunter, I can take care of myself."  
The dark haired angel looked at her disbelievingly, "Without your death toll, I am less than convinced."

"Yeah-but in my defense being around the Winchesters death is kind of the normal." She pointed out, which was true. Almost everyone…well everyone really that has entered the Winchester's has died. John, Bobby, Mary, Jo, Meg, and Adam, nobody seemed to stay alive for long periods of time around the brothers. Even the brother themselves have died more times then they can count or remember. But most of the time Addison followed them into the great beyond…not that it was great-but they always came back. She always came back-but she knew that one time maybe she won't come back, maybe one day she'll go and be gone forever while Sam, Dean, and Cas are back here on Earth fighting the long war.

"They are vampires here," Castiel stated, "and they are attacking the humans."

"Ok-do you know where they are?" Addison wondered, the Shadow honestly didn't care for vampires…werewolves she could stand, warlocks, witches, ghosts on occasion. But vampires she didn't mind to kill every once in a while, sure she had a few friends that had been turned or turned before she knew them…well and Dean was one for a few days. But that's different, they were friends and were careful of who they drank from and had learned to control their bloodlust. These monsters on the other hand didn't care, they didn't follow the rules of the Clave, they broke them all the time-they just never got caught while doing it.

"I'm still looking where they are hiding." Cas informed, "Just be careful Addison."

"No promises Cas," Addison said, "But I'll pray to you if I get to something that I can't handle."

"Addy who are you talking to?" Jace wondered. Castiel didn't teleport away because he didn't entirely trust the Shadowhunters, they were Azazel's creation but he knew their kind. He had grown out of the shell he was in when he became a friend to the Winchesters.

"My friend," she said not turning back, "would you like to meet him?" Without reply the golden blonde haired boy came to her side, arms crossed and scanned the angel in front of him. Addison had talked about Jace whenever she got bored, his golden eyes, his hair and tattoos. She talked about the bird she got him for his birthday after his father had killed the other one. She would talk about seeing him kill demons and what she was going to get for his next birthday. Sometimes she just talk to herself, as though she were trying to remind herself of when Jace was just a boy, innocent to the monsters of the world. But his innocence didn't last as she hoped it would.

"Jace meet Casiel, Cas, meet Jace."

Castiel nodded, "Hello,"

"How did you get in here?" Jace asked.

"He teleported," Addison informed causally as though it was a normal thing.

"Through the Five-dimensional portal," Jace assumed, "Is he a Shadowhunter?"  
The woman next to the boy laughed as she looked at him, "Not exactly," her green eyes looked towards the angel as she tried to conceal her amusement, "Cas, care to explain what you are to the boy?" Castiel didn't understand why Addison was getting such a kick out of him being an angel. Jace is part angel-what's the big deal?

"I'm an angel of the Lord." The dark haired angel informed.

The golden eyed boy looked at Addison as if to say, _are you kidding me? _Jace didn't believe in any religion. He believed in what he could see and he has never seen an angel before in his life, he's seen demons before. Many demons, too much for one lifetime-but this must be a joke. This-this man can't be an angel, "Very funny," Jace stated dryly.

"I do not understand." Castiel informed, "How is that funny?"

"He doesn't believe in angels." Addison stated.

"I believe in what I can see." Jace corrected.

"What, he doesn't look like an angel?" The brown haired woman wondered, "He's an angel in a trench coat." Dean always liked to call him a baby in trench coat-but they only refer to him like that when he isn't around or tuned into his angel radio.

"No," Jace pointed out, "he doesn't have any wings."  
"I do have wings." Castiel said, "You just can't see them."

"He does, they are beautiful." Addison informed, on occasion she could see them. When the sun is at its highest and is shining down on him; you can see their coal colored shade through the rays of sunlight. You can see the outline of magnificent size, big enough to send him up into the azure sky and zooming through the plush white clouds; but they didn't drag behind him as he walked. They were perfect for him.

Addison turned to the angel, "Cas, why don't you go back to Dean. I know he's been worried about you-Sam too." She placed a caring hand on his shoulder, "Mary too,"  
"I know," he replied, "I can hear their prayers."

"Prayers," repeated Jace disbelieving.

"Yes-he's an angel after all." Addison pointed out, "I'll talk to you later Cas."

"Goodbye Addison," the trench coated man stated as he disappeared in less then a blink of an eye. Him leaving left a smile of amazement on Addison's face as she looked up as if she was watching him leave, "What the hell was that?" Jace wondered pointing at where Castiel was standing.

"An angel zapping somewhere," stated his adoptive 'mom', "have you not been listening to a single word I've been saying?" There was a condescending tone to her voice as if she expected him to believe her, "What, you don't believe me?"

"No," Jace pointed out, "What the hell have you been for the past eight years?"

"Oh here, there, no where, everywhere," Addison informed, in short she had been across the united states, she's been beyond the devil's gates, on the rack, above the clouds, and she's been where the monsters go when they die. In some cases it's a case of 'when' more then where, then there were parallel dimensions and that sort of stuff.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'll tell you later-it's late." Addy said, "I should get going-I'm afraid Izzy, Alec, and Joseph can only stand me for a few hours at a time." She chuckled, "Tell them I say hi and I seek peace…I'll see you in the morning, ok?"

Jace nodded but didn't reply. Addison moved a strain of hair to his hear and then proceeded to kiss his forehead just like she'd do when he was smaller. Giving him an embrace she whispered in his ear, "Don't worry-I always come back, I'll always come to back to you." From there she left but she didn't see Joseph looking at her love Jace just like as if he were her son. Jealousy was a word for it, she always loved Jace; he had heard her talk about him all the time when he was kid. Why didn't she ever praise him like she did Jace? Why didn't she ever look at him the way she did Jace? That blonde arrogant boy has been more of son to her then he ever was in Joseph's mind but Jace never thought of it like that. Neither did Addison, she adored Joseph; every moment of her life has been for him. Jace was promise she made many years ago. He'll never replace Joseph-Joseph will always be her son.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Sam was already asleep and Mary had passed out a few hours ago. Addison, if she had not been her mother, could tell they were related. Unlike the young girl's father, she could sleep peaceful, she had nothing regret or monsters to fight. She was unscarred by the world around her so far. Dean on the other hand was an insomniac by other's definition, he barely slept four hours in two days and when he does dream the memories of his time in Hell and Purgatory. But on occasion he would dream of the time before being a hunter, when Sammy was just a baby and he was Mary's age. Sure his family wasn't perfect-but then again it never was.

But the brothers and Addison looked after each other, not one without the other. All of them at been to hell and back, and to be honest they all needed each other to stay grounded and not go insane. Taken that Sam had gone insane a while back, they took each other's mental state very seriously or as seriously as they want to take it.

"Hey," Addison whispered, "you alright?"

Dean gave her a soft chuckle before he gulped down the rest of his whiskey, "Yeah," he said, "you?"

She shrugged as she took off her black jacket that helped her blend into the dark night. "Ok," quickly she took another glass and poured the liquid in the cup, "hey Dean…"

"Yeah," the handsome green eyed man wondered looking at her concerned.

"Do you think I'm a terrible mother?" The words that came out of her mouth confused him and it wasn't because of the alcohol. Why would she say something like that? Who would say something like that to her? Anger and confusion bubbled up in him, _who was the bastard that told her that she wasn't being a good parent? _Addison was doing the best she could. She was doing better then John had, she wasn't raising her daughter or hadn't raised her son to become the killers John had.

"No," Dean said, "why would you think that?" The brown haired woman shrugged as she drank the contents of the glass. Addison was by no means a light weight, but that doesn't mean the whiskey didn't affect her. After two and a half glasses she had felt the buzz she had needed.

"One of the kids mentioned it," she said, the hurt in her voice registered in the hunter's ears, "just wanted to make sure I wasn't a completely failure." Her voice cracked as tears threatened to fall. The words Alec had said to her sill rang in her skull; _you're a terrible mother, _they still fractured her heart more and more. But that wasn't what bothered her the most; Alec had done it on purpose. He had ment to hurt her and he had no regrets and refused to apologize. She knew she shouldn't let it bother her…but was she really that bad? Was she really a terrible mother?

Dean had placed his glass down on the small study table where several hunting books before making the small walk over to Addison. His soft hand cradled her face gently. His caring grass colored eyes stared into hers and as clear tears started to drip down her face his long fingers them away, "You're an amazing mother." The man pointed towards their daughter, "Mary thinks so too…and so does Sam." But his argument was pointless so instead of trying to talk her out of crying, Dean pulled her into his chest and slowly petted her hair as her salty tears found refuge on his plaid shirt. He planted a soft kiss on the top of her head before tilting her head back and placing his lips on hers.

Addison could taste the alcohol on his breath as she kissed back, forgetting about her tears and pain. Her shaking hands that once contained her glass were now entangled once more in his short hair. Dean's hands knotted themselves in her long, rich hair that smelt of sweet strawberries.

A long story short, their…activities led them to another room separate from Sam and the young Mary's room, and after a few hours they finally fell asleep into their own dreams…nightmares…memories-which ever one makes them feel the most human that the time.

Addison remembered the first time met the Winchesters…well it was more like the Winchesters met her.

**Hi, here's the end of the chapter. Hoped you liked it, I had a good time writing it. As promised, more of the Winchester boys and Castiel. I will explain how they met in the next chapter. Oh that's going to be fun, anyway-I'll see you guys later and remember, stay awesome my friends.-cupcakekiller12**


	3. This Is A Town I Don't Call Home

**Hello again, welcome back to another chapter. Hope it hasn't been too long; but before we begin lets me say I don't own anything from Supernatural or anything from the TMI series. I hope you like it; so sit back, relax, and enjoy the read-cupcakekiller12**

There wasn't much to the town, it was boring, plain, and didn't have much character. It was old too, the paint that had been on the houses and building had faded to a depressing shade and in some cases peeling off. The brick that some buildings were made of used to be a vibrant red that could be respected; now they're just sad old bricks that need to be torn down just like the rest of the town. Some places were new though, like the bar in the heart of the town and the gas station on the edge of where the middle of no where and civilization meet.

The inhabitants of the town weren't happy to live there either; each day was like watching paint dry. There was nothing to do in this town, just to sit, talk, and have a glass of beer. In fact the liveliest time you could have at this town, was get to black out drunk, which gave the sheriff's department something to do. But nobody ever did that, the most rush that the sheriff's department had gotten in ten years was a ticket for parking on the wrong side of the rode.

Which begs the question why Addison even bothered staying here? She had been living on adrenaline rushes since she was five. Her whole life was based on killing things, running after the law breakers, and sometimes disturbing the peace. So why would she stay in the run down town like this?

Maybe she needed a little peace, a little boring, maybe she preferred a boring town to New York, or maybe she deserved to have a boring life after what happened to David.

Today marks the day he died…how long had it been since he died? Two…maybe-to be honest she stopped counting the days when she dropped off Joseph. All the days had blurred together, the night and day seemed to be one and now the only thing she seemed to get up for in the morning was to make sure demons hadn't gotten into her crappy apartment. Once she got up there was nothing for her to hunt or kill, no research to do or any puzzle to figure out. She was just…bored in a boring town.

_By the Angel, I wish something would happen in this town, _Addison thought to herself as she sighed as she sat up. Where would she go this time? The coffee shop down the street, would she run and run until she could long feel her legs anymore, or would she drink her sorrows away with the money she earned being a waitress at the local restaurant and bartending? Well…maybe she'd just have a drink or two, enough to get her through the day, but not too much, she wanted a light buzz that's it. Blacking out from drinking and waking up in a stranger's bed isn't her view on fun.

So she changed into the same black and white cloths she always wore, her Shadowhunter uniform along with the ruins marking her arms. Some were fading into a silver shade that sparkled in the sunlight on occasion but the mortals never seemed to see it though. Well…very few could but sometimes Addison took down the glamour and everyone saw the black symbols that seemed to conquer her pale skin. Today just so happened to be one of those days, but she had long sleeves on, anyone passing by could only see the black tips peeking out of her sleeves and her neck.

Before she left she took one last glance in the mirror as she did all the time, her dark brown hair barely covered her ears and bangs partially covered her forehead. Addison had cut it the day after David died; she only grew it long for him. He always told her that she looked beautiful with long hair. But when he was gone…every time she saw herself in the mirror she saw him smiling and playing with it. So she took a pair of scissors to it…and now here's the 'new' her.

Only she wished it was nightmare that someone would shake her awake.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

John Winchester and his sons sat at the small table in the bar while drinking and discussing their case. Sam, the brown haired one who seemed not to be very invested in their conversation, every moment he had he stuck his nose in another book about demonology. His brother on the other hand, Dean, a young man with charming green eyes and short brown but could be argued for dark blond was invested in what his father was talking about, "Dad we really have a case here-in this ransack of a town?"

"Dean," Sam hissed quietly, "people have ears."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Dean waved off, "so have you found anything yet Sammy?"

Sam rolled his eyes as he shrugged, "No-and its Sam, Sammy is a chubby twelve year old." He flicked another page into the books and his brown eyes scanned the next few pages. The 'baby' brother was always treated like this. Dean took pride in it; but always eventually stopped, knowing his boundaries. But he did love him, they were family and he'd do anything for Sam, even die for him.

The older brother chuckled as he downed another shot and checked out the place, "I'm mean seriously, the only thing people are capable of dying of is boredom." Which was true, and a lot of the locals would agree with him. The kids would also applaud; because all they wanted to get out of here, they wanted to get out of this dumb small town that seemed to be suffocating them.

"Dean," John said, "I got a tip that there was a witch here in this village. They said she's killed before and I'm going to stop her before she does it again." There was no leniency in his tone. There was no 'I want to-but no promises', this was not a goal; this was an objective. He was going to do it and with time to spare. The Hunter was going to kill this monster in his mind without a second thought; it is what he was forced into thinking since his wife, Mary, was killed.

At that moment the door opened carefully shining the daylight inside, and everyone looked up to see it was. When they saw everyone stiffened, they stood where they were as if afraid or threatened by the person standing there. The mundanes could feel the tension build, so much so even the Winchesters began to feel threatened. They reached for the guns but were stopped when the people next to them grabbed their wrists to stop them from making a terrible mistake. But their eyes never met the boys; they stayed glued to the entrance.

As the woman stepped inside you could hear her boots softly touch the wooden floors below everyone. Her hair was short and roughly cut. Her eyes were a grayish green they seemed to be more depressed then they were glaring. She wore mostly black but a few rare garments of white that stuck out. Her long coat covered her arms but showed the black tattoos on her arms and neck. Dean and Sam could see a sword-was it even a sword handing on the inner side of her black coat which raised their suspicion even more.

But then her gaze softened and she raised a hand as though to signal peace and no news to report. Everyone gave a sigh of relief and let their tense shoulders hang. They returned to their drinking, darts, and pool but the Winchesters hadn't forgotten what happened.

As the woman sat down at the bar the bar tender already had a glass ready for her and then just began casually talking to her as he wiped down the glistening oak table.

"You look terrible." He pointed out.

"I feel terrible." She replied taking a sip of the liquid. It was bitter, but she liked that it fought her. She needed something that never quit or gave up on her. It had been such a long time since she had something like that…or at least it felt like forever to her.

"Want to talk about it?" The bar tender asked.

Addy sighed and looked at him, "Ok, want to paint each other's nails and braid our hair, while I tell you who my crush is." The bar tender didn't seem offended by this. He had gotten used to this part of Addy a long time ago. She was Shadowhunter, they always have a stick up their ass thinking their better then everyone else. But she…she was different, sure she was still up on her pedestal but slowly she was coming back down to Earth. Eventually they'll see eye to eye, he just has to wait for her.

The truth was that Addy felt like a piece of her was missing and she couldn't find it or fill it. Every morning when she woke up, she had a happy feeling-today was going to be great and amazing like-and then she remembers as she remembers…David died. He was no longer beside her to hold her at night. He no longer smiled at her, he could no longer laugh at her crappy joke, and she could no longer wipe his tears. David was gone, his spirit in the heavens…if there is one. If anyone deserved to go to Heaven-he should, because it would be less angelic without it.

"Did you-"

"Yes," Addison informed softly, "I'm a Shadowhunter, I have a duty to help your kind."

"But you don't belong to the Clave," the dark haired man said.

That's true, yet she still helps them. Was it out of the pure goodness of her heart or was it just an obligation that was passed down from her mother? Honestly, Addison didn't know herself, she couldn't say if it was because she knew she could stop any time she wanted to. She could live a normal life, a mundane one; ignore the supernatural events around her. But at the exact same time, she wouldn't want to live her life any other way.

"That just means I have the option," she shrugged, "I just choose to help."

"Is it true they're scared of you?"

"Don't put words in my or their mouths Downworlder," she ordered but her tone was careless. The Clave didn't talk to her; she was always out of the loop of everything and anything. That was the downside of being outside of the Clave. But she'd rather have free will then to be someone's dog, "I don't pick sides most of the time. I can be sympathetic towards your kind just like the mundanes."

"Then I'm glad you chose to be sympathetic towards me," the vampire informed. He had been starved before she found him. The man was a fledgling, barely trained, and starving for human blood. Instead of being brutal she took him home, got him some animal blood, and got him a job. Now he's fine and a close friend (whether or not she'd admit it).

Suddenly a man joined them, a handsome one, short brown or dark blonde hair-Addison couldn't decide. His green eyes had a darkness to them, but still carried humor and light with them. He was strong, tall, and too charming for his own good; "Hey there," his pearl white smile was nice and lightened the coal colored heart of Addison.

"Hi," she replied before turning away back to her drink, she wouldn't let him charm her. She's a Shadowhunter, not a princess…she'll never have a happy ending-if she even deserves one. But he didn't go away or stop the conversation; he just sat there and looked her. She was beautiful, to her cheekbones and her grayish green eyes. Even the way her hair was cut, it may not have been perfect but to him, it made her look adorable. He almost forgot what to say, he just got lost in her eyes. Those big, magnificent, magical, green eyes…but that seeing the man he snapped back into his flirtatious swing.

"I'm Harry Lancaster," he lied, but instantly regretting doing so. Maybe he should have told her his real name, "I'm-"

"F.B.I agent," she interrupted.  
"Yeah…how-"

"You were the only ones confused when I walked in-and the fact that you grabbed your guns gave it away." Addison informed finally giving into her curiosity and looked back into the man's eyes again. They were almost blue now with the light shining on them. They were almost like a breath of fresh air, a new interesting sight in this boring place. But she kept her bored face on and acted as though he were just another mundane, "What are feds doing in this town? Nothing happens here." Oh how wrong she was at that time.

That was when a gunshot rang outside, it was loud and echoed in the large room of the bar. This is what Addison feared. She was scared that the peace that settled over the town would leave. She feared that all of the work she spent on this town would go to waste. A year and a half wasted by a couple of people that had no idea that this town was refuge for all Downworlders. This place was ment to equalized all beings, humans, witches, warlocks, some demons, the faeries, even Shadowhunters like herself. Oh she was going to kill the person who disturbed the peace of this boring town.

"Nothing…really," Dean said.

"Shut up," She informed as she put a wrinkled brown paper bag on the counter and pushed it towards her 'friend' (not that she would call him that). As the short haired woman also paid for her unfinished drink, she started to walk out the door but stopped and took a glance over her shoulder, "Don't leave if you value you lives," she said, "I'll tell you when it is safe to come out. When I do, do not dawdle; get home as fast as you can. Then tonight there will be a meeting in city hall at 9 pm tonight. I will further discuss this matter there." With that she left, but this time she had purpose. She had will and a way.

The body was of a werewolf, a young boy, barely 17. His skin used to be a very light tan, but now had lightened to a deathly pale. His scarlet blood pooled around him, drenching his cloths with an irony smelling liquid. Aside from the silver bullet in his heart and stomach the boy looked rather at peace, dead, but unburdened and resolved.

This wasn't the work of a Shadowhunter, Addison knew that. A Shadowhunter would know better then to kill a werewolf, especially the ones that belong to a pack. Anyone visiting this town knows that there are various packs, ones that are family, some are couples, others are made-but they all know, you mess with one, you mess with all.

"Poor kid," she heard someone say, "at least it was quick."  
Addison sighed knowing that wasn't true. He was first hit in his stomach, the killer must've watched him writhed in pain. But he wasn't dead yet, no the killer watched him, then after about two minutes when death began calling the boy's name he shot him in the heart and ended it. There was no grace or swiftness to his death. It was painful, agonizing, and slow; a way no person should die.

"Did anyone see the shooter?" She wondered as she knelt down to examine the body even further. The boy had blue eyes; Jeremy was his name she believed…he helped her bring in groceries one day. They used to look up to her; he was like Joseph, so innocent and unknowing of the world around him. He may have been a werewolf but…he changed her opinions on the werewolves as a whole. Respectfully her pale fingers closed them, he deserved that much, but it would be better if he was alive right now.

"No," the sheriff replied, "nobody saw anything."

_Great, what great help, _but where was the ring? Jeremy always carried a ring with him-it was his mothers. She died at childbirth, so it was the only thing he had left of her. The reason why she wanted it was because maybe she could get something off of it. There's a semi-serious physic in town, they should be able to help. That's if the memories of the mother aren't still lingering on it. Trying not to move the body, Addison opened the coat slightly to see a gold band drop to the ground.

The ring wasn't simple, it was small, intricate, and the diamonds formed a moon while stars were engraved around the band. It was obvious the couple never thought they were cursed. They knew they were children of the Moon but they never thought it was a burden. Addison couldn't imagine what his father would think. He'd be devastated, the least she could do was find the killer and deliver him or her to justice…or just kill him-the Clave wouldn't care. A life for a life, Jeremy at least deserves that.

As Addison picked up the ring she studied it more before carefully placing it in her pocket. When she began to leave the crime scene those F.B.I agents Harold Lenny or what's his face, that green eyed man. The beautiful-

No-she wouldn't let herself fall-not after David, she refused to like a player like _him _make her fall.

"Special Agent Lenny," she said.

"Lancaster," he corrected.

"Whatever," shrugged Addison, "the scene is yours-but I expect his body to be returned to his family by the end of the week." Dean and Sam looked at her curiously. Who did she thinks she was, a police officer? The woman didn't look like a police officer, she didn't even have a badge-yet the town sheriff let her through without even a word being spoken between them.

"Ok," Dean replied as his green eyes followed Addison as she ducked under the yellow caution tape and down the street. There was something off about her…strange, she looked human, but those tattoos on her arms and the way everyone treated her-like she was some god or something. There's got to be something up with it.

"Dean," Sam said, knocking him out of his daze, "come one, dad wants to know what did this."  
"Yeah…sure Sammy," Dean said as he looked back. Secretly he hoped that he'd see her again, but a part of him wishes he didn't.

Addison walked down the empty street and down to the door of the bar. She didn't bother opened the wooden door; all she did was knock on it. They knew only she, the sheriff's department, and those…F.B.I agents were out there. The feeling of suspicion wasn't easily shaken from the mind of the Shadowhunter. She was used to be lied to-most Shadowhunters from her time did, and this generation seems to be in love with the idea of no Downworlders and only 'pure' Shadowhunters. But she was even better at spotting liar, she knew F.B.I agents weren't that young-they were young-but not that…childish.

Maybe they'd come to the town meeting-but to be honest nobody ever really did.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

"I told you once and I'll tell you again." Addison said, "It wasn't any Downworlder." The townspeople or the supernatural townspeople, the ones concerned about their lives and their family kept asking her if she was going to protect them. But no matter how much she assured that she was going to help find this murderer, it seemed to just make them less sure of her. As if she wasn't capable of doing her job.

"Why didn't you save my son?" The father wondered. He face was sunken, depressed, his son had only been dead for a few hours and he already looked like he had been gone for months. The man's eyes were red from crying and struggled to control the wolf within him from coming out from withheld anger.

"I can't know everything." Addison pointed out, "If I could have, I would've, trust me. But there is no telling what the ruins would have done to him and he had already lost too much blood. He would've been dead by the time I dialed 9-1-1." The Shadowhunter did feel guilt for the child's lose, if she had just arrived later to the bar maybe she could have stopped him. Maybe Jeremy would still be alive, but realistically she couldn't have preventing this-any of it. Fate doesn't pause for anyone.

"What about your brother?" Another citizen wondered, "Is he willing to help?"  
The brown headed woman chuckled, "My brother isn't bound to same promises as I am," he doesn't have the same free will as I do unfortunately, "Besides; he's got his own job up in Brooklyn-he won't break from something high paying just to help me." He probably wouldn't-only if it were her birthday. But she loved him anyway, as brother of course. She always mad an expectation when he called her.

"But there is someone murdering Downworlders in this town-what if this isn't the last one? What if it's a massacre?" A woman with dark curls wondered.

Addison sighed, "I can't report a single murder to the Clave. They get thousands of them a day, Jeremy's file will just end up in a large pile of unsolved cases." The Shadowhunters have a code-they are required to help Downworlders-and most born outside of Idris do. But the ones inside Idris are stuck up snobs on occasion, not saying that Addison can't be either-but she can stand them more then most, and if she were to admit it. Jeremy was a friend, he and many other werewolves who had her when she lost her husband and she never credited them.

"I owe this town a lot for what they put up with." Addison admitted, "I'll be damned not to catch a murderer who killed my friend." The Shadowhunter looked towards the Sheriff and nodded, signaling him to talk. She left to go prepare for the funeral for Jeremy.

The last time Addison had worn her white dress for mourning was when her husband died. She was hesitant to wear it again. It brought back painful memories for her we well as guilt for leaving her son behind at the Institute…she knew he would hate her for her choice. She also knew that if she came back-he'd be less than thrilled to see her. Joseph wouldn't be happy there…but at least he could have a life there, maybe not much of one…but more then the one he would have had with her.

She looked once more into the mirror as she always did before she went out to do anything the white dress was stunning on her, along with the ruins that danced upon the sleeves of her jacket. But something about it seemed so wrong to her, she wanted to get out of the dress quick as though it were going to devour her at any second.

There was a string around her neck, a silver ring hung on it. It was her engagement ring her late husband proposed to her with. It was simple, much like her, there was a etch of design on it, there was the angelic rune on each side of the stone. The stone was Witch Light; it had a light blue hue as it glowed. Her hand reached up towards it, remembering their vows and their wedding. She remembered the dress, the snow, the flowers, her brother had been there. He was the one who walked her down the isle. In fact he kind of planned the whole thing-and paid for it too. Addison always thanked him for it, but she still owed him a few favors because of it.

The Shadowhunter retracted her hand and then placed the ring under the fabric of her dress. She had already mourned enough for David-he wouldn't want her to cry more tears for him.

Walking out the door she held her breath, today wasn't going to be a good one.

The funeral started at 11:30 pm in the town square. The full moon was out and illuminated the dark sky, it was slightly cold. The humidity was low, as were the spirits of the people who knew young Jeremy. Mostly everyone was clad in black; one person wore white with symbols engraved in the clothing. Nobody complained though, that Shadowhunter had her traditions, and she had promised to find the person who forced everyone to be here. The monster who claimed a life, a thing in a dark that nobody seemed to care about, and that was the one thing this town could agree on.

After the service was over, there was a small gathering with food and drinks. Some people comforted the father. Addison paid her respects to the father, Jeremiah. A man with light hair, long and thick, ocean blue eyes as beautiful as the sea, tall and built, a strong face-but handsome. His son took on much after him, but Jeremy had more grace to his walk, and more happiness in his eyes. She tapped him on the shoulder lightly, "Jeremiah," she said softly. Addison knows what it was like to lose someone. She knew what it was like be alone and not being able to reach out.

"Yes Addison," he said as he wiped his redden eyes, "what is it?"

She softly took his and opened it, "You deserve to have this." The father looked at, he already knew what the object was. His eyes seemed to sadden even more; his body language told Addison that he believed there no justice for his son. But she had this smile on her face as he looked over his shoulder.

Should he be concerned?

Maybe a little…considering there was a man choking to death at his son's. Addison stood still as she drank her champagne. Everyone studied her, why wasn't she reacting? The green eyed woman looked at the man without the slightest sign of compassion, there was a man dying and she didn't even bother helping. The Downworlders took this as a sign and looked away as they bit their lips and held their breath. It shouldn't be long till the man was dead, but by the Angel did they feel guilty about ignoring it.

"What are you guys doing?" One of supposed F.B.I agents wondered as they stormed onto the scene, "He's dying

Addison shrugged uncaringly as she sipped her glass, "We're mourning for the loss of our dear Jeremy." She gave them a certain look that all the Downworlders seemed to cower at as they avoided any eye contact with the F.B.I agents, "I highly recommend you do the same." Before they end up on the ground just like the man was, "And he isn't just dying, he's dead."

"Why the hell didn't you do anything?" The beautiful green eyed man wondered pointing at the dead man, "We could've saved him!"

"Yes," Addison replied, "and technically I still could…but that wouldn't be fair."  
Saving people, Hunting things, the Family business, that's the Winchester's motto. They went around killing monsters threatening small towns, like witches, small vampire infestations, ghosts, and maybe a demon here or there. Addison was the same way now-as were all Shadowhunters, they killed with no remorse-in fact they benefited from killing Downworlders, they received anything they owned.

"I'm calling an ambulance." Dean said as he pulled out his flip phone and looked at the guy worried.

Addison chuckled, "They won't be here in enough time to save him." It was almost scary about how much she didn't seem to care about the short man dying at her feet. Dean, Sam, and their father were definitely disturbed by the scene. Their eyes looked to everyone seeing their lack of response.

"Jeremiah," Addison said as she touched his shoulder caringly, "I'll take care of it-why doesn't everyone take an early night?" The father nodded as he walked away and slowly everyone followed his actions leaving Addison alone with the 'agents' who had stumbled upon their town, "I suppose you are going be staying in town for a while?"

"Hell yeah," Dean said disgusted.

"Then welcome to Shadow Creek," Addison said, "hope you enjoy your stay." Because if they mess up, they won't be staying here alive for very long,

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Addison played with her husbands ring, she usually spun it on her desk evident by the scratches it left behind on the wood. Her fingers played with the silver delicately as they spun it around and around. Her green eyes were mesmerized by the simple action, every little spin, every time the Witchlight glistened in her dark apartment. Her husband used to do this; he'd do it almost everyday whenever he got bored. She missed him doing it, she missed his slight panic attack whenever the ring would fly off and under a couch or something. If only he was still there…then maybe her world would still be intact.

Suddenly a knock threw her out of her daze, throwing back into reality. She got up and quickly answered it, "Hello," three men stood outside her door. One a young man, but aged beyond his years and two other men still in their prime but their eyes showed no joyful youth in their similar eyes. These men were never children, they were warriors and hunters, nothing more, "Can I help you with something agents?"

"Uh, yeah," the long dark haired one said, "may we come in?"

She took a long stare at time before nodded, first Dean and Sam came in but before their father could join them Addison blocked his way. Addison saw the darkness seeping out of his heart and into the room. She could see his ill intentions and his misdoings just be glancing at his eyes. This 'agent' is going to infect her room with his darkness, "Sorry, fire Marshall thing," she closed the door and turned back at the boys.

"Dean and Sam Winchester," the green eyed woman said, "I've heard a lot about you." They didn't reply, "My name is Addison and before you try to hunt whatever you think is in this town, a Woman in White, a demon, a vampire, or a witch. Think before you act, I wouldn't want to see your pretty corpses in a dark alleyway."

"What-how the hell do you know our names?" Dean demanded as he reached into behind him and gripped a gun hidden from view.

"It was an educated guess." Addison shrugged as she walked further into the room, "And I did some research…there are no F.B.I agents that go by the names you gave me-at least not in this time or place." Long story short, she used one of the invisibility ruins and went through their stuff. She found some things she'd rather not know existed but found the information she was looking for.

"What the hell are you?"  
"Oh it would be fun to tell you," Addison said, "but I prefer to see to live another day."

"Why did you kill that man?" Dean said, "What did he do to you?"

"It wasn't me he did something to, Dean." She informed, "He broke the Law and it is my job to make sure these things don't get out of hand."

"Out of hand," Dean said, "out of hand-this is already out of hand! You just killed a man!"

"And you haven't," asked the Shadowhunter,

"We hunt monsters." He defended.

"True," she replied, "but that wasn't a man, that was a murderer."

"So-that doesn't mean you had to kill him! Send him to jail-court-something!"

Addison chuckled as she looked at the two brothers, "I almost forgot, you're mundanes-you don't know our rules." The woman sighed, "The Law is harsh, it doesn't bend for anyone," well besides her-but she's a whole other story.

"What Law?" Dean wondered as he looked towards Sam, "What Law?" His brother shrugged, he didn't have an answer for once.

"My Law-well not mine-but my people's Law-not that I like to follow it all the time." The Clave's Law almost seemed lazy to Addison. So many rules to follow-yet most of them are outdated and unused in this time period. Most of the Clave members would argue otherwise but Addison had seen their lack of effort in things that were threatening to everyone but them. Their Law was flawed, Shadowhunter's could agree-but no one dares to argue with the Clave if they value their life.

"Didn't he deserve a trial?" Sam asked.

"The Clave doesn't answer to me," the Shadowhunter said, "And by the time the Inquissitor came and brought him to Idris, Jeremy's case wouldn't even had even been considered." Addison sighed as she looked away, "It's not like your mundane justice where you need proof. One person says one thing and a prison cell is your new home."

Sam and Dean looked baffled as they glanced at each other. What the hell was this woman talking about, the Clave, the Inquisitor, Idris? What kind of drugs is she on? They believe in demons, magic, and the things she called Downworlders-but what was she talking about?  
"Which brings me back to my point," the short haired woman said, "this is not one of your clueless towns you visit, kill, and then leave. There are eyes everywhere and if you aren't careful you'll be on someone's hit list."

"And why are you telling us this?" Sam wondered. If she didn't care what they thought-why would she bother trying to save them? Their Hunters, their not everyone's best friend.

"Even though I may not act like it," Addison pointed out, "I do have some honor-I keep my promises-now get out before I change my mind."  
**/**

There was something about the night Addison loved. The way she could just blend into it without trying. There she was equal to everything, no special treatment, no special duty-it was just her and the darkness surrounding her. But she could also hide in it, there she could cry to herself-as sad as it was- there she could think about Joseph and what she did to him, in peace. In the dark she wasn't Addison, she was just someone-not a Shadowhunter-not a human-just a person in the blanket of night looking out and watching life go by.

Well that was until the Winchesters' decided to ruin the little peace in this town she had made. Damn those boys, where ever they go-trouble seems to follow. If their mother was still alive she'd be so disappointed. Hunters, Mary wouldn't want that them to do that. Addison had bumped into her once before while on a hunt-werewolfs maybe-she remembered her blonde hair and the reluctant look in her eyes. The Shadowhunter had helped them find their goal and in short Mary and Addison became friends. She went to her wedding and Mary went to Addison's, the Shadowhunter did was notified about the birth of her sons and after a year or so she came to visit. It's funny how she almost forgot about them…her children. Sam and Dean Winchester, the boys destined for great and horrible things,

"I'm telling you Sammy," Dean said, "there's something wrong with that woman."

"Dean," Sam said as he quickened his pace to walk side by side with his brother, "Dad said not to go after her."

Dean chuckled as he continued with almost a hop and skip in his walk, "I don't trust her. Did you see how dad reacted to her? It looked like he seen a ghost-and not like the ones we hunt." It was true; John had been slightly knocked off his feet when he had seen Addison. But mixed in with what looked like fear was a sense of relief, "and I'm going to figure out why."

_Don't, _thought Addison, _you don't want to figure it out._

Suddenly there another shadow, it seemed to follow the boys wherever they went. Down the street corner, across the rode, pass a shop, and currently in an alley way, "Dean what are we doing here?"

"I saw her go into here," he informed as he looked at the dull brick.

"Dude," Sam said, "you think she's just going to teleport to her room from here." It wouldn't be the least expected thing that Addison has done-considering her linage. But to mundanes that would prove to be weird or cool. But you can never know with the Winchesters, they are a rare breed of Hunters, ones that have denounced their Shadowhunter's blood and decided to live a normal life as humans. But being mundane is quite boring, so they took up a few of their own weapons, a few guns, and a few knifes-and marked them with the angel's mark.

"There's gotta be way," Dean pointed out as he scanned the boring brick wall once more, "people don't just disappear like that Sammy, even witches have to go up in smoke or something."

Addison chuckled as she watched them examine the wall clueless of what she is. It was almost fun just looking at them, they of course knew about the Downworlders in their own way. They helped with the load and could be there before the Clave could raise a finger to help. Which is why the Clave turned a blind eye to them, they followed the Law (sort of), did not expose any other humans to their world-so there was no threat to be taken.

The shadow crept closer and closer to the boys and then suddenly took form. The figure was pale, deathly pale, its face darkened-but not by the night, a liquid shined on his face making him seem like a monster. Sharp canines poked out from his gums still covered in red blood from his last unfortunate victim, and currently now he new victims. Addison stayed where she was and waited for the situation to play out. They were Hunters, surely they could take care of themselves.

Dean threw the first punch but missed throwing himself off balance and into the wall. Sam back away slightly and gasped at the sight before him. He was so lost and overwhelmed; yes he had taken care of these situations before but not like this. After gulping down air he threw his fist just like his brother and missed also. The vampire smiled as he looked down at them; tonight he was going to feast.

The cold dead hands of the vampire grasped Sam's shoulders to prevent him from escaping, "Sam," screamed Dean pushing himself from the wall and throwing himself down onto the inhuman man trying to kill his brother. The two fought, arms and fists collided with faces and other ligaments, "you fight me you son of a bitch."

"Of course," said almost a snake like voice, "but it won't matter anyway-I'll make your little brother watch me drink you dry before I drink him."

The Winchester's hadn't had any real form of weapon on them, sure a knife or something-but nothing that could kill a vampire. But Dean could take him, he could take anyone on-or at least long enough for his little brother to escape. Not that Sam would ever leave his brother behind. Their fight continued, more bones were injured in the human, not many were broken on the vampires side because he was winning-he had just had his first snack of the night and full of energy to take the next. But just before the vampire could harm Dean, before he could deliver a final blow, a force stepped in and stopped them.

"Stop," said a womanly voice, firm and strong with no fear held behind. She stood infrotn of the street light which its yellow cascading light formed a halo around her body. The vampire chuckled as he looked up.

"You think you can stop me Shadowhunter?" He wondered not loosening his grip on Dean and Sam.

"I know I can," Addison said, "but I am giving you a choice, stop your ill advised actions or be justified by the Law." A Seraph blade was in her hand and her green eyes seemed to pierce through the dark alley way and targeted her latest criminal of the law. Without even waiting for an answer she takes what looks like a sword and stabbed it through his heart. A last gasp of air escaped the vampire's mouth as he died one last time, "It was shame, I was just beginning to like you." As the vampire fell she looked toward the brothers, "Are you two alright?"

But before she could hear their respond her mind fell into darkness.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

The short brown headed woman slowly gained consciousness in the middle of the devil's trap. Her arms bound by silver chains engraved with symbols. As she tried to move her hands she chuckled, "Winchester," her green eyes scanned the room. Where was their father? John-he should remember her, "where is your father?"

"How do you know about our father?" Dean demanded.

"Do you really want to know that answer Winchester?" Addison wondered even though there was only one answer when talking to any Hunter. Comply or they will force you to comply. She had been through this round-about several times with their kind. Not all as nice as this-other times she stabbed, shot, or attempted to murder. Of course Addison had talked them out of it and proving she wasn't any threat…well any threat to them anyway.

"Yes-yes I do." Dean said annoyed.

"Great," Addison said with a fake smile, "so do I-now where is your father-I assume he sent you after me." Only for a second was there a look of uneasiness on Dean's face-but that was long enough for the Shadowhunter to realize John, the untrained father, didn't send for me. This is the boy's decision not his.

"Shut up," Dean ordered, "now what the hell are you?"

She chuckled as she shrugged, "Some like to say a mistake, a monster of creation, or my favorite, inhuman beast." Which couldn't be less true, Addison was a third demon, Shadowhunter, and human-making her, the best of both worlds. She could eat salt, drink holy water, wards do not keep her back, she can hold the Mortal Sword and lie, she can do magic, and she'll go to Heaven even though she is a witch, "What do you think Hunter?"

Dean gritted his death, "Are you demon?"

"Not fully," Addison, "but enough…any more guesses mundane?"  
"What are you-"

"Dean," questioned a deep voice, "what are you doing?"

"Dad," Dean said surprised.

"Who is that?" John wondered.

"Hello John," a womanly voice said calmly, "nice to see you again." John hadn't changed much. More gray hairs perhaps, more stress lines on his face, a little bit heavier, and it was obvious the lack of sleep he had. The man drank more, more then he ever did with Mary. Don't get it wrong, their marriage was far from perfect but it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows either. Unfortunately Sam never got to meet his mother, he was far too young even remember the color of Mary's hair.

"Addison," John questioned as he entered the room, "what the hell are you doing here?"

"I live here." She pointed out, "What in the name of the Angel are you doing here?" It was a reasonable question, Addison had gotten there first, she had organized peace and then they just happened to stroll into town and everything go to shit.

"The Angel," echoed Dean disbelievingly, "what is this lady on?"

"Pride and angel blood," muttered his father.

"Technically your boys got some of it in their system too-why do you think they can see the demons so easily?" The Shadowhunter pointed out, she was eerily calm in this situation; if anyone else had been in her shoes they would have been crying, begging for their release. She on the hand looked as if it happened to her every other Tuesday.

"What the hell is she talking about?" Dean demanded.

"Things beyond your control," Addison informed dismissively, "And beyond your knowledge," John Winchester's boys had yet to be exposed to the angel world. He purposely avoided any place that Addison had told him held a large amount of Shadowhunters. But he wasn't the only one who refused to be around them; his late wife, Mary, made Addison promise that she would never involve them in her world. She would leave them alone, let them live their lives normally-little Sam and his big brother Dean were supposed to grow up, mature at a normal pace, go to the same public schools and have normal hobbies and have normal friends. Not hunt demons and literarily break every law and moral code; Mary would _not_ be happy about what John did to her boys. She would be furious, she got out of that life for the better of her and her family and John had dragged them back into again.

"Then why don't you inform us?" Dean stated with a cocky grin his face, "Because I would _love _to know."

"I promised to a friend a long time ago I wouldn't tell a soul." The Shadowhunter informed, "And I intend to keep that promise."

"Yeah and who did you promise?" The green eyed man wondered.

"You want the truth?" Asked Addison as she looked into the beautiful eyes of the young man before her, "Your mother did. Mary Winchester," his fist collided with her jaw. Nobody spoke of his mother that way-in any way. The very words coming out of her mouth was illegal in Dean's mind. How dare she use his mother's name in a way to defend herself? Mary was dead; they were here because she had been murdered.

It took her a moment to recover, "I didn't know you were hunting."

"We're looking for what killed Mary." John informed.

"I can see that-but what I didn't want to see were you dragging your boys into this." The short haired woman said, her hands tied behind her back in an uncomfortable fashion. The metal they had used had begun to cut into her skin, leaving large bruises and shallow cuts with scarlet blood, "Mary didn't want this. She wouldn't want you to go back into the life and she would hate you for bringing her children into it." Another punch came her way leaving her slightly dazed. That was going to leave a mark. At this point it didn't matter what she said, whether it be important or an measly noise she was going to be hit, "If my brother gets word of this he is going to be either very unhappy or-"

"You think he has eyes-even here?" John wondered, actually curious.

"I wouldn't be surprised." Addison muttered as she looked away. Magnus had always been a man with many resources-he was over 300 years old. He was the one who taught her how to use her magic. He even gave he a home once when her mother died.

"Why don't we just kill it?" Dean pointed out as he cautiously walked around the devil's trap.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you Dean." The Shadowhunter informed as she eyed him.

"And why shouldn't I?" The Hunter replied.

"Because I can help you find the Demon who killed your mother,"

**Hello again, I hope you liked it. I'll try to update soon but just remember school is started up soon-so I may be a bit preoccupied with other things. So comment, like, follow if you want. Soooo I'll see you guys later-and remember, stay awesome my friends-cupcakekiller12**


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